going, going, gone!

February was a busy month for us in the tooth department, and so far, March seems to be following suit! Miss Trinity lost THREE, yes THREE teeth last month!!! She has been waiting for a long time to lose her first tooth. In fact, she was the only one in her class who hadn't lost one. Well, I guess she is catching up! We were all so excited for her. I am even planning on making her a little pillow with a pocket to put her teeth in while they are waiting to be collected by the Tooth Fairy.

The first tooth came out easily. She tried pulling it out and then I gave it a few tugs, and voila! Out came tooth number one. That night she put it under her pillow and the next morning she found a gold dollar, and her tooth was still there! A mistake by the Tooth Fairy? She asked. Nope. In this house, the Tooth Fairy lets kids keep their first lost tooth so that they can always remember it. (Think this is weird and gross? I also kept the pregnancy test that I peed on when I found out I was pregnant!) And by the way, the Tooth Fairy went through heck to find that gold dollar on such short notice!

The next tooth was a little harder to extract, but it came out only a few days later. This time the Tooth Fairy left a dollar bill folded into a cool triangle, but Trinity somehow lost it in her sleep! We helped her search and search, but she thought that the Tooth Fairy just didn't come. We kept insisting that she DID come, so as soon as we could, we slipped another dollar bill under her bed, and told her to check again. She found it this time and was happy. Later on, we found that cool triangle-shaped dollar bill. (One MAJOR reason why I need to make a special little pillow that has a pocket.)

The third tooth came out almost two weeks later, simply because her new grown-up teeth were so HUGE that they pushed the tooth next to it out! I wonder if this is normal, and if she is going to need braces, but it's going to be awhile before we get to the dentist. Oh, and the Tooth Fairy left another gold dollar this time, too!



So after three teeth, we thought surely we were done with this for awhile. But no, Miss Natalie must have been jealous, because just a few days ago, she lost her first tooth! And the one right next to it is loose too! We were at IRSC doing some school stuff and waiting in the car for daddy, when Nat wanted to check the status of her tooth. She tried to pulled it out, and then I asked her if she wanted me to do it. She said yes, and after a few tugs it popped out. She was ecstatic! We all jumped out of the car and took a picture, and then told daddy as soon as he came back. That night, I made her put her tooth in a baggie so that it wouldn't get lost. She knew she would get to keep her first lost tooth, and all went well, until the Tooth Fairy really did forget to come that night! AHHH! Seriously, at this rate, the cat is going to be out of the bag in no time. Oh well. Trinity was worried but Natalie wasn't phased, and we told them she may not have come because both girls were up at 5:00 AM that morning. But she did come the next night, and left a crisp one dollar bill. All's well that ends well!

valentine's day.

This year for Valentine's Day, I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I wasn't expecting anything at all. We didn't have the extra funds, and I thought it would be stupid to waste our money on the silly little holiday anyway.

Well, I was surprised. With this:



(I know, the picture doesn't do it justice.)

Yes, that is an Edible Arrangement! I have ALWAYS wanted one, and finally my dear, sweet husband made my dreams come true and bought me one for Valentine's Day! I was so happy and so surprised. The arrangement was ALL chocolate-covered strawberries(pretty much my favorite thing) and it even came in a cute little planter that I could use later. Thanks for "wooing" me, baby! I love you!

does the journey seem long?

Today I was spiritually filled at church. We were late, and it was only Natalie and I. It was time for Relief Society, and the lesson was for me. As soon as the opening song began, I noticed that the words applied to my life. Sister Gilbert spoke of burdens vs. baggage, and again I saw application in my own life. Then, in the middle of the lesson, Brother Bray came in to tell us about a job opening and an education grant. It was all for me. How thankful I am that I still went to church, even though I was late. How blessed I am by having this wonderful gospel in my life. Here is the song that we sang:

"Does The Journey Seem Long?"

Does the journey seem long,
The path rugged and steep?
Are there briars and thorns on the way?
Do sharp stones cut your feet
As you struggle to rise
To the heights thru the heat of the day?

Let your heart be not faint
Now the journey’s begun;
There is One who still beckons to you.
So look upward in joy
And take hold of his hand;
He will lead you to heights that are new.

Alma 36:3-

And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.

reflection.

I can't believe 2009 is almost over. I can't believe we are entering into a new decade. It seems like just yesterday we were "partying like it's 1999." This year has gone by fast, but it's been hard.

Every Christmas, I think "Next year will be different. Our situation will change. Things will be better." And they never are. I don't mean to be pessimistic, but it's the truth. This year, we were broke. Last year, we were broke. The year before, we were broke. See a pattern? It sucks. I keep hoping that we will somehow be able to better ourselves each year, but something always gets in the way.

Here's the low-down on our "bah-humbug" of a Christmas:

Christmas Eve was wonderful. On Christmas Eve, we went to Rob and Hilary's for a delicious feast of beef tenderloin, cheesy potatoes, and cranberry-apple crisp, and of course presents. There was even a surprise visit from Santa! It was a lot of fun, but we were up way too late. The girls were completely awful on Christmas Day. They whined, cried, argued, and the whole spirit was just missing. Next year we are planning to buy them even less. What's worse, is that our dear Aunt Sharon was terribly sick, so the Sexton tradition of breakfast on the ranch was cancelled. I swear, it has been going on for 50 years, and this is the first year ever that I remember it being cancelled.

So we planned to just do our own breakfast with my parents, but my mother did her famous flake-out, so I ended up cooking at my house, and then going to their house to find that she had done nothing, so I had to cook everything else there, too. Grrr! We were so angry. We basically ate and ran back to our own house, where the kids continued to be complete brats.

I've been thinking about how difficult life has been for us this past decade, and I want to be able to change it in some way. There are so many things that cannot be fixed, but I am hoping that the new year will bring us more strength to endure.

I am always reading blogs, and I saw this quote on one of them today:

"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come."
~Joseph F. Smith

Patience and waiting. There is so much that I want out of life. I'm afraid those things will never come. But I know that I need to be patient. And hopefully, one day, those things will come, and they will be sweeter than anything I could have ever imagined.

the best day.

Yesterday was the BEST Sunday EVER! I want to remember it forever. We made it to Sacrament on time, which we don't always do. The choir performed a beautiful Christmas program that took much more time than we usually have allotted in that meeting. It was amazing. I cried tears of joy, sadness, and awe. One of our good friends Billy, sang a song about Joseph, the carpenter. He could barely get through it, the Spirit was so strong. Then there were songs of Mary. Words cannot describe the feelings that were felt. The congregation was invited to sing along at times, and each hymn that was chosen was so inspired! The program ended with "Peace, Peace" while the congregation sang "Silent Night." *More tears.* I felt so much peace. I have been sending letters to an eight-year old boy who is dying of cancer. I wanted to wrap up the peace that I felt, and send it to him and his family. The Spirit touched me in ways that cannot be described. I am forever grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ, and for the season that celebrates His birth.

We also had the opportunity to take a less-active member and her new husband to church with us that day. I am so glad that I volunteered to give them a ride! They were AMAZING! So kind and friendly, and you could feel the Spirit working on her husband as we talked about the gospel and shared our knowledge with him. I love being a ward missionary and am so blessed to be a part of the work.

Today alone showed me how much I have to be grateful for. My ward is AMAZING. The Spirit is so strong in our new building. And I have the chance to meet so many new and wonderful people each time I go out with the missionaries. We went to a baptism on Saturday, for a man whom I had taught. He is a choice spirit. His confirmation was done right before the choir performed. It was the perfect start to a perfect day.

That night, Terry was in such a good mood from the events of the day. He had a good day, too. It made me so happy to see him happy. It is not something that we see too often, and it was wonderful. He even told a joke, corny, but I loved it and we laughed and laughed. I asked him what movie he wanted to watch with me, because I wanted to spend some time with him. He said "I think I am going to watch the movie 'Inside of My Eyelids,' rated G for Goodnight!" Hahahahahahaha! That is the Terry I love. We did end up watching "The Devil Wears Prada," just because it was on TV. Yes, today was the best day.

enjoy yourself.

A few days ago, we was eating at Szechuan Palace, one of our favorites. We were tired and the girls were grumpy, but it was so late that we just wanted to eat something decent and quick (not fast food) for dinner before we went to bed. We happened to be seated in a corner of the restaurant where we have never sat before. In this corner, there was a little sign that said "Enjoy yourself. It is later than you think." At first I thought it was talking about drinking and how the drinkers should hurry up before the bar closed, but as I continued to eat my yummy deliciousness, I kept thinking about that sign. My eyes kept returning to it, reading it over and over again. And I came to the conclusion that it was in fact NOT talking about alcohol. Instead, it was talking about life. MY LIFE.

I have been glum. Since before Thanksgiving, I have been fighting depression. Some days are good, others not so much. Lately it has been hard to fight it. I sit at home and watch Terry sleep, day in and day out. I feel hopeless and helpless. Our closet collapsed a few days ago, so there was a whole other mess of things to add to the already covered floor. Our new apartment is just too small for us. But there is nothing we can do. We have gotten rid of most everything that we could. When we finally called maintenance to fix our closet, I was left alone to move EVERYTHING out of the way so that the job could be done. It made me sad. It made me feel overwhelmed. I wanted to just throw it all away. I actually got down on the floor and cried. I begged Terry to get up. I felt like a two year old throwing a tantrum. It was ridiculous, I know. The cat came over to see if I was ok, then I got up and started to try and clear out the closet. Terry would not get out of bed, and I had to put everything somewhere, so I just piled it all on the bed on top of him. Then I started bagging things up. I was going to throw things away. But just at the last second, when I thought I couldn't take anymore, Terry got up and helped me. Maintenance soon came, and I took the girls and left the house. It felt good to get away with just them.

Back to the sign.

Seeing those words made me realize that I don't have forever to be happy. It is later than I think. Time on Earth is short. We know that. It should not be wasted feeling angry or sad. We should find "joy in the journey." This is hard to do. But at least I have recognized that I need to try and find some happiness, even if it is just a smidge, each day. Life is too short to be depressed all the time.

I don't know where that sign came from. Perhaps my great-grandfather put it there (he is known for his "trinkets") or maybe it is something that the restaurant owners found. Either way, I am grateful that it was there to lift me up. Thank you, little sign.

happy birthday, trinity!

Today is Trinity's 6th birthday. I simply cannot believe it. It seems like only yesterday she was a teeny tiny infant, and I was as confused as ever, not knowing what to do with her! But she was my miracle baby, the child I was told I would never have. Today I love her even more and am still incredibly grateful that I got to be her mommy. Trini, this tribute is for you...

You are so amazingly SMART. You are currently in Kindergarten and can already read. In fact, your teacher has told me that she is going to start you at a First Grade reading level in January. You can do math, spelling, and tell me little tid-bits of so much information. I am so proud of you. You love science and educational programs like shows on the Discovery Channel. You are eager to learn all that you can, and you never stop asking questions about the world around you.

You are BEAUTIFUL. Everyone says so. You get frustrated with your curly hair and say that you wish it was straight, but it really is pretty, and people love it. Your blue eyes are so sparkly, and even though you are still tiny, your personality is not! You love to model in front of the camera, and take pictures, so this year we bought you a digital camera of your own so that you can take all the pictures you want.

You are FUNNY. You are always coming up with jokes and ways to make people laugh. You are very dramatic, and the other day, you said to me "Look! I'm in a box!" and then proceeded to act like a mime in a box! Daddy and I are hoping to sign you up for acting and singing lessons next year.

You are KIND. If someone is feeling sad or scared, you give them a hug and try to make them feel better. If someone gets hurt, you ask if they are o.k. You take such good care of your little sister Natalie. You stick up for her, and though she sometimes annoys you, you always play with her and look out for her well-being. It makes me so happy to see you act so loving and caring towards others.

You have a TESTIMONY. You love going to church and learning about the gospel of Jesus Christ. You always ask to bear your testimony in Sacrament on Fast Sunday, and you get excited when you are asked to give a talk in Primary. You love having Family Home Evening. You love to pray, and you have even told me that you would like to serve a mission one day. It brings me so much joy to see you learn and grow in the gospel, because Trinity, the gospel is true.

I know that sometimes it is hard to be the oldest, because so much more is put on your shoulders. But I also know that you are an amazing, strong, wonderful little girl, and you are the best oldest child anyone could ever ask for. I love you all the way to the moon and back, my little deedles. Happy Birthday.