It's no secret that I struggled to get pregnant. While my friends and neighbors were all having one, two, and three babies, I was left with none. It killed me inside. Terry had just been diagnosed with MS the year before, and now I was diagnosed with PCOS, or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. So I had a diseased husband and was diagnosed as "infertile." Let me tell you, if you think I have been depressed now, you should have seen me back then. The day that I peed on a stick that read "positive" results was the HAPPIEST day of my life. Literally. Sorry honey-I love you dearly but getting pregnant topped getting married for me!
But my journey to my miracle baby Trinity is a long story, and I will write about it some other day. Right now, I just want to share something that I read on another blog. Rather, I want to remember it. I don't know if I will be able to have more children. I haven't tried. But I do know that the two that I have are a blessing from God, and I feel so lucky to have them.
I started following "The R House" blog awhile ago. A girl from my old ward found it, and shared it on her blog. From there I went to see it for myself, and then I realized that I actually knew Mrs. R's husband from BYU. Then I read their story, and I was sad. I understood how they felt. But they are survivors. And not only do they survive, but they also thrive. If you have ever been touched by infertility in any way, you will love the inspiring thoughts that Mrs. R shares. She recently had a guest blogger post, and that is what I am sharing here. It reminds me of myself, and it is comforting, I think.
"I’ve struggled with the loss of my dreams of a big family. The thought of just two kids hurt pretty badly. I’m a mother; I’ve got so much ‘mothering’ to give. Did my answer of “no” to more kids mean I wasn’t the mother I thought I was?
I found the answer one day while reading my scriptures. Genesis 24:60 reads:
“And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions.”
I read on. Genesis 25:21
“And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren.”
She conceived and bore Esau and Jacob.
And that was it.
She had two children. I read on.
Rachel had Joseph and Benajmin. She was infertile.
Sarah had Isaac. She was infertile.
Hannah had Samuel. She was infertile.
Elisabeth had John. She was infertile.
All through the scriptures, there are stories of women; righteous women, good, loving and faithful women who were infertile.
They had no more than two children each. Some only bore one.
But they changed the world."